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Anxiety - Literal fear of being alone

Discussion in 'Fear of being Alone' started by S0ph13, May 10, 2015.

  1. S0ph13

    S0ph13 New Member

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    When I got my first house key at 11 years old, I walked home from school with my friends. I put the key in the lock, and opened the door.

    I instantly felt uneasy. I tried to distract myself for only a few minutes before it just got too much. I locked myself in the downstairs bathroom for 2 hours until my mother got home.
    I felt like someone was in the house, Someone wanted to hurt me and I don't know where it came from.

    Thinking back on it, this is probably the first time I had ever been alone in the house - I had 3 brothers; 1 older, 2 younger. And the silence just put me on edge.

    At night I had nightmares constantly and woke up fearful throughout the night for as long as I can remember. My bed had to be next to a wall so that when I looked out I could see the entire room and there was no possibility of someone being behind me. I would hear my heartbeat in my ears and thought that I could hear the monsters marching to get me.

    It was a very intense fear from a young age that I can't entirely describe, and have no idea why it started.

    Has anyone else experienced this?

  2. kelbel

    kelbel Member

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    Hi Sophie,

    yes i was the same when my parents went away. Suddenly the house would seem massive and every little sound would make me jump. It took me ages to go to sleep! I lived on my own in my late 20s and was exactly the same then - I was fine in the daytime but at night it took me ages to drift off!

    I have to say, now, at 34, this is the best i've ever been at night on my own because I have a dog :) He would hear an intruder before me and most probably give him a little nip if he tried to attack me lol! Pets definitely make sure you sleep better!

    Have you lived on your own as an adult and felt the same? I also visited a friend the other week who has just moved into a massive 3 story house. Her husband was away on business that night and she was really nervous about sleeping there alone. At the risk of sounding sexist I think most of my female friends would probably say the same thing.
  3. Mark

    Mark Active Member

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    It is very strange how the human mind works - I know of people who come across as very confident and secure in the work place but also have issues with being left alone in a house. I think it is human nature that we have the urge to "pair up" and while I have lived on my own in the past it was always in a shared house and I knew someone else would come home at some point. However, there were times when they may go away for the weekend and while I wasn't concerned about being in the house by myself, the loneliness was not nice.
  4. Jade

    Jade Member

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    As you mentioned about having a dog for company and to ease fears of being alone I do think that any animal can do the same. For instance when I moved out when I was 18, although I lived in shared accommodation my housemates would be out most of the time and sometimes I’d be in this big house on my own at night. I got a hamster and just hearing him scurrying around in his cage and on this wheel made me feel more secure knowing there was another living thing in the house with me. Obviously my hamster isn’t going to guard the house from an intruder but it is nice to have that little bit of company in any animal.
  5. Admin

    Admin Administrator Staff Member

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    I don't think human beings are naturally programmed to be alone?
  6. Helprequired

    Helprequired New Member

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    I think we are programmed to co-habitat although not everyone "needs" a partner.

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